Cicada crawled out of the ground,
breathed the air, and looked around.
Up the tree with all the rest
he climbed, and there they got undressed.
Their wings unfurled; their colors changed.
And, in the trees, they all arranged
a symphony of clitter-clatter
in hopes a willing mate to flatter.
Cicada chirped; Cicada whirred
to no avail. The girls preferred
the others buzzing clear and laudable.
Poor Cicada was barely audible.
Giving up, he donned a frown.
He eyed the ground and started down.
They tried to warn him not to stray
where earth-bound critters hunt and play.
The warnings couldn’t change his mind.
He clambered down and embarked to find
a brand-new place to call his home.
He flicked his wings and tried to roam
but landed where the humans dwell.
He climbed a screen and sat a spell.
He slumbered through the summer night,
then woke to terror, full of fright!
Poor Cicada met his fate
without a friend, without a mate.
He never thought that he would meet
his end as canine’s tasty treat.
An ode to the all the cicadas that have fallen victim to our canine children. A more delectable, crunchy treat has never been invented by nature or man.
A Girl
Pretend, for a moment, that you are a girl,
a girl with a mind as rare as a pearl.
A mind where impossible dreams are unfurled.
A mind that knows it can conquer the world.
A mind that sees where the future can go.
A mind where endless imaginings flow.
A mind that was planned in the heavens above,
gifted with beauty and reason and love.
You are a child of the great universe,
crafted from stardust in rhythm and verse.
The world is your oyster, and you see no limit.
The world is your home, and you’ll make your place in it.
But one day your dreams are driven ashore
because of a rule no one told you before.
Didn’t you know? Weren’t you advised
that all of life’s prospects depend on your size?
The greater physique with which you’re endowed,
the smaller the space in the world you’re allowed.
Your lifelong ambitions cannot be grand
if your body type isn’t on par with the brand.
You’ve broken the models and molds of your gender.
Closed are your doors to beauty and splendor.
You’ll never see bodies like yours on the covers.
They’re only in print to aggrandize the others.
Though you try to aspire, to dream of ascension,
you’re met with derision and misapprehension.
And just so you’re clear on their strong reprehensions,
you’re sent to the basement to clothe your dimensions.
You may meet some others who have good intentions,
but they, too, like you, are trapped by conventions.
Conformity broods and consumes your attentions
because of the world and its idle pretensions.
Their vision is shallow. To them you are crass.
And all they can see is a wide, empty mass –
presumably empty of soul and of mind,
because, as you know, the vain world is blind.
And now the blind world has committed a crime.
It has squashed and put out a light that would shine.
The light of a beautiful, God-given mind –
a mind so perfected and treasured by time.
Do you remember when you were that girl?
Beautiful minds live in all body shapes and sizes. But beautiful minds don’t know they are beautiful when they are told their bodies are ugly. Body positivity is not about ignoring health problems or encouraging unhealthy habits, as many would have us believe. Body positivity is showing love and acceptance to others no matter the size, shape, or strength of their body. It is allowing them to see and be their full potential. When humans are shamed, for any reason, it is an attempt to hold them down so they will not rise up. Consciously or subconsciously, society shames what it deems as imperfect and, therefore, unworthy of participating in the great human experience.
Two Wobbly Steps Forward, Three Steps Back
Did you ever jump off a high-dive board as a child? One that was so high the steps never seemed to end? One that seemed miles above the pool and almost touched the sky? Do you remember the feeling of getting higher and higher and knowing that going back wasn’t an option because of the kids waiting eagerly behind you? How every step to the end of the diving board caused an unwelcome wobble which made you even more nervous? The butterflies in your stomach were trying to fly out of your throat because they were so anxious. Then a breeze comes along and tries to take you off the board sideways. Holding steady, you finally reach the end of the board and then comes the moment of truth. Will you turn those nerves into pure excitement and plunge into the deep end? Or will you let anxiety turn into fear and shamefully tip-toe backwards and down the ladder?
My first queries are giving me flashbacks of this favorite childhood pastime. I am on the ladder and all the world can see (or at least the few concerned onlookers – who in this case include not only the agents whose favor I want to secure, but others who have helped me and allowed me to share this journey). Each request I put out into the world is like another wobbly step on the diving board. And instead of calling me forward to the edge, they are causing anxieties which pull me back to the ladder.
Second guessing every step along the way sends me another step backwards. Should I have gotten more critiques? Did I choose advice wisely? Is my query concise enough? Is my pitch perfect?
And then come the rejections. Wow! That was fast! Such a blow feels like a hurricane-force wind trying to push me off sideways. Even though I tell myself it’s a badge of honor and a necessity to reach my destination – none of that matters up here on the diving board.
There is only one direction to success on the diving board.
As a child, those nerves were the impetus for taking the first step on the ladder. Somehow those nerves drove me forward. They always fueled the excitement that was a free-fall into the deep end. If those nerves had gone away, I don’t think I would have ever wanted to jump again. But they came when summoned and made the dive all the better.
I hope I can see the distant goal of being published clearly enough to sustain these nerves long enough to turn into excitement.
Thanks to Gaia Cornwall for her wonderful book Jabari Jumps. Every time I read it, it takes me back to my childhood diving board adventures. I thoroughly recommend it!
My Little Slice of Heaven
My little slice of heaven,
the place that I call home.
It keeps me grounded, fills my soul.
I never need to roam.
From here I see the wonders
that nature gives to me.
And even in this tiny space
my spirit is set free.
The rabbit and the squirrel
find sustenance around
my sweet abode, and freely roam.
For they are safe and sound.
Winged creatures nest
and play a symphony;
and gather food for self and brood
all about the tree.
Fleeting reptile feet.
Colors glimmer fast.
Lucky eyes might chance to spy
friends that scurry past.
Burrowed in the soil,
what might give some a shiver.
A cool delight! Exciting sight!
The helpful snake does slither.
Buzzing, crawling, flying
wonders fill the void.
Their lights at night or wings so bright
leave me overjoyed.
My little slice of heaven,
my favorite place to be,
keeps me grateful, thankful, blessed
for wonders that I see.
My new job description
Kindergarten is hard!
Hard for students and hard for teachers.
Kindergarteners start school in the autumn of their first critical period of brain development (ages 2-7). These years are the most crucial (this is why early intervention is so important – but that’s another post).
Not only are their brains ripe for ingesting knowledge, but they are social and emotional beings who cannot yet understand or manage their feelings and impulses. And now they must assimilate into this grand learning community we call school, with all its rules and expectations.
It’s a lot for them to take in – and a lot for an educator to manage.
In reflecting on this, I have decided to rewrite my job description to accurately document everything that happens in Kindergarten. Put your seatbelts on because here it is:
Kindergarten Teacher: Educator of future leaders, productive and compassionate citizens, and caretakers of the earth in the arts of language, phonology, phonics, discussion and debate; in analytical, reflective, persuasive, and narrative writing; in mathematical reasoning and application of algebra, calculus, and geometry; in biology, earth science, and physics; in economics, geography, history, and sociology; in computer hardware use, software application, and online communication and safety; in comprehension, critical thinking, and deductive reasoning; in interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence, and in peacemaking.
A scaffold of support for the learner at every level on their Kindergarten development, with the ability to judge when and where to release control.
Identifier of learning styles and integrator of all styles in instruction. Able to read a room and instantly adjust instructional method to engage all learners. Keeper of bag of tricks with the ability to pull out a strategy, song, chant, or action trick to maintain engagement.
Communicator, facilitator, collaborator, and occasional peacemaker for and with adults in the orbit of the learner and the school.
Advocate for every child, early childhood education, sound educational practices, and equity in learning and community support.
Data analyst, curriculum developer, high-stakes decision maker, problem solver, manager of schedules, and master organizer.
Legally mandated reporter for child welfare concerns. Legally mandated practitioner of school system and legislative policies. Licensed to practice in the state, renewal required every five years.
Extremely flexible, good in a crisis, and able to handle tough topics and situations with compassion and understanding of the learner’s developmental level. Administrator of emergency medication and manager of student health crises. Able to calm and create order during fire, tornado, community lockdown and active shooter drills.
Acquisitioner of learning materials, books, and of other’s time.
Creator of safe spaces, routines, and predictability. Motivator, cheerleader, and scorekeeper.
Healer of skinned knees, dryer of tears, and maker of smiles.
Yes, I think that will do nicely. Will it buy me a raise? No. Have I forgotten something? Most likely. But it’s a decent start.
For all the teachers wrapping up their school year, more than ever they need a reminder that they are appreciated. And as you see, their job responsibilities go far beyond the job descriptions that are posted. When they say there is a lot on their plate, that is no exaggeration. Please find some way to appreciate and advocate for public educators. They are teaching the future of our nation.
That one little check..
That one little check
on the report card
to send them on
to the next grade.
Promoted
Elevated
Their wings just grew
a little more.
I had the honor
to provide the lift
they needed to fly
a little higher
than they could
before.
They imprinted
their young souls
onto my heart.
And I will be
forever
changed
because of how they
defined the year.
Made me laugh, cry, sigh, and try
harder than ever before.
That one little check
on the report card
is bittersweet joy,
necessary release
to make room
for the ones yet to come.
One little mark
can do so much.
As I downloaded each and every report card onto my laptop, reopened them in Adobe, and inserted the little checkmark into the space to indicate promotion, then re-saved each one, I was baffled how our complex, integrated, state-wide grading software could do everything within its system except insert this one little check. The complexity of that sentence was equal to my confusion. Then it dawned on me the significance of this tedious task. To promote them was the finish line, the end game – to leave them more elevated, raised to the next level. And then it seemed fitting that this one little check should be such an ordeal. Hurray to the little checkmark that gave me pause to reflect and appreciate.
Today a Bird Died
Today a baby bird died – or rather in the night.
Somehow he had the strength to push out of the nest. Twice.
At first he didn’t seem ready and landed in a dangerous place. So taking wildlife advice, he was returned to his home. But falling twice may have been too much, because he didn’t roam.
He didn’t hop, he didn’t flutter, he didn’t have the means. His back legs splayed behind and all he did was desperately try to move. Has he got a chance?
So he was placed with tender gloved hands, on a low perch – in a bed of straw, like his nest, and left for the night. His sibling was nearby, watching. By the night’s end, he also snuggled in the bed of leaves.
But the weak one didn’t make it through the night.
In the early morning, Mama was nearby sending her mothering chirps in search of her babies. So I tenderly buried the lost one on a bed of leaves in the earth – and destroyed the false nest so the other one would leave. I told him to head on out into the world because he was ready, and mama waited for him.
He is ready to leave the nest, but still not ready to fly. His sibling was not ready to leave the nest but still insisted on trying. Sometimes nature is cruel and gives us false hope or just pits us against impossible odds.
My lost friend and my new friend gave me a stern reminder about the world.
Before our own fledglings hop out of the nest, we must do all we can to make sure they are strong and ready. That fall to the ground can be perilous.
Do their legs have the strength to hold them up – even just for a little while?
Do their wings have the strength to open– even just to flutter for a while?
Can they hop to safety, however meek it is, on their own – even just until the morning when someone who cares can help them take the next step – or flight.
Just like my lost friend, they may think they are ready; but the world will soon let them know if they are not.
Twenty-Four
Twenty-four more days in the school year. A school year like no other.
Teaching children to count and add, read and write, question, analyze, synthesize the data flying at them over the broadband – a school year like no other.
Teaching children to care and share, take turns and listen, with the friends they never met in person, smiling at them over the wifi – a school year like no other.
Teaching them to believe in themselves, feed their brain, try their best with only a camera, fancy graphics on a google slide, and my exhausted self oozing enthusiasm over the internet feed – a school year like no other.
On this 158th (twenty-four more) day of school we held an author’s chair. With the glory of technology, their beautiful publications projected onto everyone’s screen, while they proudly read their own narrative creation. Most of them successful, some needing a gentle prompt to help them read their own writing. All of them original, all of them their best work, all of them the reason I teach. Their pride and excitement at showing what they can do also made this a school year like no other.
Because despite doing what no children have ever had to do before, they did it, they did it well, and they were happy.
I could say I am counting down because this school year, like no other, has utterly drained teachers. Or that I am counting down because the screen-time headaches have got to go. Or that I am counting down because a sedentary job is detrimental to my health and driving me insane. Or that factors above my head and out of my hands continue to make this harder to do, even when it couldn’t possibly be any more difficult.
I could be counting down because we just all deserve a break.
But I am also counting down because, like in any school year, you realize you will never have this group of children again in your life. This may be the last time many of them share a class together. Some may even move away. And even a tired teacher will miss seeing their faces every day. This is the life of Kindergarten teacher – to introduce these young hearts to school life, to become so connected, invested, work so hard for, and finally say good-bye to these beautiful souls. Even more special because of a year we shared like no other.
Twenty-four days.
Topic This and Topic That
As I ponder topics for picture books, so many rush into my head. Just because it pops into my brain, does that mean it has potential? Does it mean anything to anybody else? As I bounce ideas off my patient husband I am reminded of the Jerry Seinfeld book- Is This Anything? I imagine songwriters go through the same thing. Where I don’t have to do that is in the classroom – lesson topics are obvious because I know what my students need. I know how to get them from a to z and what strategies work. But writing seems more than strategy – it’s heart and a good story. Judy Blume said, “The best books come from someplace deep inside. You don’t write because you want to, but because you have to.” And Madeleine L’Engle said “You have to write the book that wants to be written.” Well, I believe I will take a word from those wiser than me and try my instincts and heart. So what if it seems ridiculous? After all the best books are filled with ridiculous – like a talking donut who doesn’t want to get eaten, or talking grass blades that ponder identify, or a stubborn pigeon who refuses to be just a pigeon. It’s time to trust those crazy ideas and see where they lead. What crazy idea have you had that led you somewhere amazing (in life or in writing)?
For those crazy books referenced above, they are Arnie, the Doughnut by Laurie Keller, We are Growing by Mo Willems and Laurie Keller, and any of the Pigeon books by Mo Willems.
My Inaugural Post
I am so excited to begin my career as a writer! I invite you to follow along on my journey as I learn and write.
Thanks to our amazing digital age, I have been fortunate to find so many resources to help me begin my career. I currently have one manuscript out for critique with some amazing teacher friends and two manuscripts in draft stage. Ever since I gave myself permission to write stories, ideas have been buzzing around in my brain, flying into my journal, and coming to life. I look forward to where this will lead. And as part of manifesting my new career, I have created this site and blog. Consider following my site and join me on this journey!
T. Lynette Smith 